We see doctors for health checkups and accountants to help us get our finances in order. There are also those of us who may even have regular sessions with a fitness instructor, therapist or career coach. Yet somehow, when it comes to matters of the heart, we neglect to get treatment.

While dating may come naturally to some people, there comes a time in every persons’ life when they can use a little refresher, learn new tactics or improve on old ones, and even benefit from a little support to get through a breakup, drought or the emotional vicissitudes one must deal with as they search for Mr. or Ms. Right.

Just take Jake Pavelka, “The Bachelor” du jour who claimed in episode one of this season’s show (subtitled: “Wings of Love” for this series) that, “he had hundreds of first dates but never any second ones.” Were it not for 25 women and a television deal with ABC setting him on a course of scenic dates and courting that leads to the altar, I am willing to wager that Pavelka would have been a prime candidate for a real-life dating coach to help him figure out why he could not land any follow-up dates. In fact, depending how things turn out for the flying ace with the fab abs, the jury may still be out on the matter.

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Think you know what you want in love and in a man?

Think again.

If your list is a mile long and includes superficial wants like “must be 6 feet tall” or “must make 7 figures” then you may need to revisit your list.

It’s time to get soulful with your list.

What do you need from a partner?

How do you want love to feel?

How will this perfect love support you and make you a better woman?

What goals and values MUST you and Mr. Right share?

I always tell my clients to get specific. The more specific the better. That way, when Mr. Right shows up and he’s shorter, nicer, less flashy, or more conservative than you had imagined, you’ll give him a shot because of how he makes you FEEL.

Love never shows up exactly how we imagine or when we want it to.

But it does show up when we’re ready, can recognize it, and when we make room to cherish and celebrate it, quirks and all.

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Be honest. If Mr. Right showed up on your doorstep today, would you recognize him?

Or would you think he was a stalker, call 911, and have him arrested?

The truth is, most single women don’t know how to distinguish between Mr. Wrong, Mr. Next, and Mr. Right.

They waste valuable time in relationship with Mr. Wrong.

They desperately try to make things work with Mr. Next.

And they don’t even know what Mr. Right looks or feels like! Oftentimes, they scare potential Mr. Rights away without even knowing it!

So much wasted time and energy can be avoided when you step into the drivers’ seat, become The Chooser, and take conscious steps to manifest Mr. Right.

What are these conscious steps? They vary depending on the individual, and may include:

- Breaking free of old patterns and self sabotage
- Understanding why the type of man you’re attracted to/attracting doesn’t work
- Deciding to let love in instead of running and hiding
- Much more

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If you want 2010 to be the year you manifest Mr. Right, then you owe it to your success to get out of your own way and shake up your routine.

How?

Identify 3-5 ideal target rich environments where you’re likely to meet men you’re interested in. (If you haven’t already, get specific about the kind of man you want to meet by making lists of your wants, needs, and requirements.)

Next, put yourself in these target rich environments regularly.

AND start talking to men on a daily basis – wherever you go!

By stepping out of scarcity thinking, you step into a space of abundance, which allows you to see that men really are EVERYWHERE!

Not all of them will be interested and available.

You won’t be into all of them either.

That’s not the point.

The goal is to get into the habit of striking up conversations with men when you’re out and about. This allows you to get more comfortable talking to the opposite sex so that when you meet someone truly amazing, you’re not tongue tied or scarcity-minded.

What to say to these men? It’s not rocket science. Just strike up a conversation, like…

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Woohoo! My new book If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right launches on Thursday, January 14.

For 24 hours ONLY, you can get over $1,500 in valuable FREE bonus materials when you buy my book on Amazon.com!

For just $15, you’ll get $1,500 in FREE audio programs, a bonus e-book, and 24 hour access to my EXCLUSIVE guest expert archive (including interviews with The Soul Mate Secret’s Arielle Ford, The Heart Whisperer™ Kara Oh, Prince Harming Syndrome author Karen Salmansohn, Tao of Dating author Dr. Alex Benzer, and more!) that only my private and teleclass clients have access to!

My book If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right is chock full of valuable information that will help you:

1. Identify the differences between Mr. Wrong, Mr. Next, and Mr. Right

2. Let go of past dating drama and disappointment and welcome a healthier love future

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If you want to call in love in 2010, you need to build a success team. And while your friends and family mean well, they may not be well equipped to help you succeed.

They may also be single and looking for love, wondering how to manifest their heart’s desire.

Or they may too busy, too emotionally involved in your efforts, or lack the appropriate skills to guide you on this journey.

You need a real success team.

Just like athletes have coaches, people on weight loss programs hire personal trainers and nutritionists, and entrepreneurs hire business coaches, you need your team members who can hold you accountable, keep you on track, and stay committed to your end goal.

Your team may include:

1. An expert at online dating profile writing
2. A photographer to capture you at your best
3. A dating coach
4. An imagine consultant

Truthfully, you know what you’re good at in life, and where you need help. Seek out your success team and watch as your results CATAPULT you into major momentum and happiness.

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Wonder what’s keeping the real love deal from finding you?

Think it’s your age, your weight, your geographical location?

It may not be what you think.

Truthfully, YOU may be keeping love away.

If you’re holding on to a past relationship, if you have your ex on a pedestal, or if you believe your chance to get love right is behind you, then there’s no room for future relationship success.

To make lasting change, you need to stop repeating old patterns like holding onto a past love, open yourself up to the possibility that love CAN happen for you but you need to work at it, and start getting to know new potential dates with an open mind and heart.

This work isn’t always easy. And it takes some time and practice. But by being committed, and trusting that the universe wants you to succeed even more than you do, you can embrace your happily ever after journey as it unfolds in 2010.

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Happy New Year! As 2010 unfolds, I hope you’re filled with hope, optimism, and action. If you’re single and looking to either let go of your ex once and for all, become a man magnet, or manifest the love of your life in 2010, you most likely need to cultivate some healthy new habits. The following five tips will get you started on the path of health, happiness, and hot dates in the coming year…

Tip #1: Clear out mental/emotional clutter

Hung up on an ex? Stuck in a negative emotional space? Paralyzed by some kind of fear? Your mission in 2010 is to clear out any residual mental/emotional clutter you may be clinging to. It’s the clutter that may be holding you back from a life you can truly live and love. So do yourself a favor and take an inventory of your emotional baggage. Then repeat after me: I deserve to live and love my life as it is right now!

Tip #2: Keep a gratitude journal

While there will always be something we wish we could change (our bodies, our debt, our job, etc.), it’s important to make peace with our lives as they are right now. That doesn’t mean you can’t strive for change. It just means you need to take time to be grateful for your life right now. Every day, write down five things you are grateful for. You can start with this: I am grateful for my life as it is right now!

Tip #3: Be honest about what you want

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Could it be your masculine energy? And if so, what’s a girl to do?

Recently, I grabbed my video camera and tripod, and enlisted the expertise of personal image consultant Kim Seltzer of http://eliteimagemakeovers.com/.

Here’s what I love about Kim. She’s not just a guru when it comes to what to wear. She’s also a relationship expert. Love that! So she knows not only what you should wear on dates, but how to score second dates. Woohoo!

Kim revealed five valuable tips for how you can look your best, feel your best, and rock all those holiday parties. She also shared how we can channel our inner goddess so we come across more feminine (and attract men like flies!)

Don’t miss the 2 must-have items you can start wearing today to drive a man wild!

Here’s tip #5:

Want to get the attention of the cuties in the room but don’t know how?

Feel like you have nothing to wear so you might as well stay home?

Stop the insanity!

Recently, I grabbed my video camera and tripod, and enlisted the expertise of personal image consultant Kim Seltzer of http://eliteimagemakeovers.com/.

Here’s what I love about Kim. She’s not just a guru when it comes to what to wear. She’s also a relationship expert. Love that! So she knows not only what you should wear on dates, but how to score second dates. Woohoo!

Kim revealed five valuable tips for how you can look your best, feel your best, and rock all those holiday parties.

Here’s tip #4: